I figured I would revisit this concept because it’s been a while and I’ve expanded my theory to be both simpler and more comprehensive. The old hypothesis has been absorbed a bit into this one, in that I can now explain it in terms of this new framework.

First things first, let’s look at the mind. Because I cannot have literal things in my mind, I must represent things symbolically (See Solipsism Plus for more details). It’s much like building a miniature version of the world in your mind. This mental world you build is further populated with mental models of all the individual things you could think of. We also build mental models of ourselves. The way we construct this self model can sometimes result in being particularly susceptible to being offended.

Part of the problem is that we often confuse the model for the thing itself. A chair is a thing wholly separate from anyone’s mental model of that chair just as the word “chair” is not a chair itself. Likewise, I am not your mental model of me. I am not even my own mental model of me. There is a big difference between damaging me and damaging my self model. However, many (perhaps most) don’t make this distinction. What happens then is that an attack, threat or challenge to one’s self model is perceived as a direct attack.

Now comes the fun part. If our self model is built such that it is dependent on other concepts then an attack on any of those concepts could be perceived as an attack on our self model. Imagine that your self model was a statue which is propped up by pillars. Any attack or weakening of those pillars could be disastrous to that statue.

Here’s an example. Let’s say that I’m a devout Christian. Let’s also say that I believe I would be nothing without god. That is, my self model is dependent upon my god model. When someone suggests that god does not exist, I see this as an attack on god and by extension, an attack on me. I then react as if I had been physically attacked because I also confuse my self model with my literal self. This can happen with many religions because it can be beneficial for a religion if its members feel strongly attached to it and defend it as they would defend themselves. The unfortunate side effect is that it makes for some rather grumpy fundamentalists. The fact of the matter is that what I believe or don’t believe about your, or any other, god has no bearing on anything, least of which who you are as a person. Furthermore, the strength of one’s faith is never known until it is tested.

Now, imagine a person who, as part of their self model, defines themselves as a MAN. Their definition of what a man is happens to be hyper masculine and does not make any room for anything less manly than the Brawny paper towel guy. When exposed to males which challenge that definition of what it means to be a man, such as effeminate males, then it could be perceived as an attack on their pillar of masculinity and thus an attack on themselves. But is their reaction reasonable? The thing is, there are effeminate men and there are also masculine men. Heck, there are masculine homosexual men. These are still men and it has no bearing on who I am as a person. They’ve got certain traits and we share some of those traits but the way one acts and who one is sexually attracted to are not married to the concept of what it means to be a man.

Pride is also somewhat similar because we often define ourselves by the features we’re most proud of. For example, consider the phrase “I am smart”. If your intelligence is a foundational feature of your self model, such that without it you wouldn’t be yourself, then a challenge to your intelligence may be perceived as an attack against your self model. So what is the real problem here? It’s the pride. If I value my intelligence so much that I feel I could not live in a world where I did not possess it, then something is wrong. Once who I am become contingent upon my intelligence, then it sets me up to be offended quite often because nobody knows everything and we all occasionally act the fool. If I were offended every time I looked stupid, I would never learn anything. In fact, if I were offended every time my intelligence were challenged, then I would be deserving of having my intelligence challenged as this sentiment could only serve to hinder my pursuit of knowledge and wisdom.

Another way this works is through context. The stage we stand on is another one of those symbols I was talking about. If who I am relies on the stage upon which I stand, then suggesting that I’m on a different stage could be perceived as a challenge to my self model. For example, lets say your model of the world includes a prudish level of decency such that nudity should never be shown in public. Who you are depends on this being true as your prudence is a defining part of your character. When you see public nudity, and especially when you see it being accepted, such as the public display of sculptures depicting nudity, then your model of the world has been challenged, and by extension, your self model has been challenged. But is that prudish response necessary? Is it not possible that the world now lives by sensibilities which I do not hold to and vice versa? Being able to see yourself as an actor on many different stages is a sign of versatility of character.

I once asked a racist “how would you feel if you were born black?” to which they responded “I would kill myself.” They didn’t realize that if they were born into a different body and in this different social context that they would not necessarily hold that sentiment. They could not only had their self model propped up by their “whiteness” but also felt as if the world was such that even the black people should know that they should desire death. It didn’t occur to them that it could be any other way. Whether or not this inability to put themselves in the shoes of someone else was a symptom or a cause of their racist beliefs I have no idea, however, it certainly did result in the person being offended quite often and for the stupidest things. The person who can put themselves in the shoes (or the bare feet) of another and is able to divorce their ethnic background, social standing, gender, sexuality, etc… from their self model has a diversity of character which allows for them to more easily gain insight on what it might be like to be someone else.

So what should we do when we’re offended? Most people lash out, but I urge you to lash in. When I am offended, I take it as an opportunity for introspection. Someone has shone a light into an odd part of my self model and I’ve realized that I need to do some reevaluation. I try to find peace with both the offending statement being true and false. For instance, I can live with myself if I were stupid or intelligent, gay or straight, ugly or pretty, and so on. Part of this involves not only recognizing the above concepts but also building one’s self not by propping it up but by having your self model sitting firmly on the ground and behaving more like a basket within which you can place various things. So instead of my intelligence being something which defines me, it is merely something I possess. It’s just another apple in the basket, if the apple gets removed, the basket is still upright and whole. It also allows me to temporarily remove and evaluate a concept from my self image while I do this introspection. This is a powerful tool for self discovery.

Take away points:

• Do not confuse the self model for the self.
• You possess traits, do not let them define you.
• When offended lash in, not out.

I’m still working on this theory of offense. The model fits pretty well with the data that I’ve gathered so far. If you have anything to add or a criticism, I would be glad to hear it. If you were offended by what I had to say, then this message is addressed to you. Get over it. :P

The other day, I found myself struggling to break myself free from one of these episodes. It’s quite terrifying really, being a prisoner in your own body, trying to scream out but unable to so much as control your blinking. I struggled with this for at least half an hour, trying to scratch, claw, and scream my way out of it, but to no avail.

I then realized that this was similar to a dream state. If that were the case, I should be able to control it like a dream. The problem was that fighting against it seemed to make it worse so I decided to go a different route. Instead of fighting, I gave in.

I’ve used this technique before to stop nightmares. In one poignant example I was being attacked by zombies and my normal dream abilities were not working. So what did I do? I sat down, closed my eyes and cleared my mind. I could still feel the undead tearing at my flesh, ripping off my limbs and disemboweling me. However, I did not make any value judgment about my sensations, I merely let them be. After a few minutes the pain subsided, as did the howls of the undead. When I opened my eyes, there were no zombies and i was not only completely whole but completely uninjured.

So there is was, paralyzed on the couch. Instead of trying to fight my way out, I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. I saw a few strange lights, like the blobs of green and purple that many see when they close their eyes. The light took on the shape of a branching vine which ended in maple leaves. One by one and with a pop each leaf burst so that now there was only black. I then opened my eyes and found myself fully awake.

I must admit, I have no clue what the hypnagogic vines were about. However, it does seem as if meditation may be useful for getting out of sleep paralysis. I intend to attempt to induce sleep paralysis many times in the coming weeks to test and see if this is a repeatable phenomenon.

If you are a sufferer of sleep paralysis and want to give this a try (it couldn’t hurt), feel free to let us know how it goes in the comments below.

A problem arose, however, when I got an excellent job offer that I simply could not refuse. The only problem was that it was for a morning shift. Having to consistently wake up at 7 in the morning was a bit much for me. So it required that I reset my sleep cycle. Luckily, I’ve read a lot of material on the matter and have done this before.

The most extreme, and quick, way to reset your sleep cycle is something that I did to counteract jet lag when I took a trip to the UK. It leaves you very tired for a few days but it gets the job done. What you do is you stay awake through the entire night and do not go to sleep until your new bed time. I found this incredibly difficult and it did make me a little ill due to the fact that I don’t cope well with sleep deprivation. However, I didn’t suffer from jet lag in the least. Another thing worth mentioning is that you probably shouldn’t drive or operate machinery when you’re doing this as you’ll be pretty out of it. I don’t know about everyone else, but I start to dream while awake when I’m sleep deprived… which isn’t very conducive to being a safe presence on the road. Luckily, for this new job, I had a week to adjust my sleep cycle instead of just one day.

Having a week was a pretty big deal. It allowed me to slowly tweak my sleep cycle rather than having to resort to the previously mentioned extreme measures. What I did was every two days, I would set my alarm back one hour. I would also make an effort to go to sleep an hour earlier. That was the most difficult part at first, but when you’re feeling sleep deprived it makes it easier to get to sleep. It sounds simple, but there are actually a few more tricks worth mentioning.

The first little trick to remember is that you should not take a nap under any circumstances during this process. You want to be as tired as possible for your new bed time so that you will fall asleep quickly and sleep soundly. Secondly, make sure you also adjust the times you eat. For me, this meant eating breakfast. This is important because our circadian rhythm is set by two things, light and blood sugar levels. In the absence of light cues, we set our sleep cycle to our food schedule. Many night owls may actually be immune and/or resistant to the effects of light on our circadian rhythms. That ties into the third tip, turn on your lights when you wake up and if the sun is going to be up when you’re supposed to be up, sleep with your blinds open if possible. The absence of light in a dark room can be a major contributing factor to allowing us to sleep in. But that’s not all, the last trick is a fairly important one that practically nobody does. However, it is so important that I absolutely must mention it.

When we sleep, we tend to go in cycles of light and deep sleep which last about 90min. I’m also sure that many of you have experienced premature awakening. This wasn’t always an issue for me, but for various reasons, I had to become a light sleeper and just haven’t been able to shake it. In any case, I tend to wake up throughout the night and with increasing frequency as I get closer and closer to the time when the alarm is supposed to go off. After much testing, what I have found is that if I am woken by the alarm during deep sleep, I feel tired all day. However, if I wake up an hour early all on my own I feel perfectly rested despite the fact that I am technically deprived of one hour of sleep. The trick is, if you wake up with 90min, or an hour and half for those who don’t feel like doing the math, of when you’re supposed to wake up, then go ahead and stay up. About the worst time you could go back to sleep is the halfway mark of 45min. That would have you wake up right in the middle of deep sleep. If you’re right around the 90min mark, you can get away with going back to sleep as you’ll be sleeping pretty lightly when your alarm goes off. The thing is, this sounds so counter intuitive that few would accept this. I mean, why would we be less tired when we got less sleep? Trust me, it works and it is incredibly powerful. You’ll feel so much better for not trying to get that extra 30min of sleep.

Alright, now that all of that is out of the way, what about maintaining your new sleep cycle? This is no small matter either as many people find it hard to stick to the sleep schedule that they’ve been used to for years. Besides the previous tip, you have to remain consistent. Studies have shown pretty conclusively that you CAN NOT make up for lost sleep. What makes people feel better rested isn’t the amount of sleep they get, but the consistency of that sleep. You cannot deprive yourself of sleep during the week thinking that you’ll catch up on sleep when the weekend comes. It simply won’t work. As strange as it sounds, you may be tired during the week BECAUSE you sleep in on the weekend. Even if you get a good 8hrs of sleep during the week and an extra 2hrs of sleep on the weekend, you are not doing yourself a favor. You’ll find that if you maintain the same sleep schedule even on days when you have no good reason to be up that early, you will feel more rested in general as time goes on.

Another thing worth pointing out is that in both of these methods you will feel tired for some time afterwards. It takes a few days at least and a week at most to adjust to your new schedule. Once again, do not give in and resort to naps or sleeping in on your days off. Just keep it consistent and you’ll get there.

Alright, lets review:

• Hard reset of sleep cycle is done by staying awake through the night and until your new bed time.
• Soft adjustment of the sleep cycle is done by waking up at the new time little by little.
• Turn the lights on when you wake up.
• Adjust the times that you eat by the same amount that you adjusted your sleep schedule.
• Do not take naps.
• If you wake up within 90min of when you’re alarm is supposed to go off, go ahead and wake up.
• Sleep consistently, do not sleep in on days off or otherwise attempt to catch up on lost sleep.

That’s pretty much it. Hopefully, I’ve been at least a little bit of help. If you’ve got any other tips or tricks for those who are trying to change up their sleep cycle, feel free to mention it in the comments below. Otherwise, if you’ve got a story of your own about using methods similar to this, tell us about your experience.

The earliest example of language having an effect in one of my dreams was when I made mention to someone that all I had to do was think of someone being made of sand, and they would be. Just by saying this, the person I was referring to was made into sand. It wasn’t like they turned into sand either. It was more like they had always been made out of sand. Their form was still human, but their material was now sand, which collapsed unable to hold it’s shape.

Several months later, I decided to revisit that odd little quirk in a fight I was having in a dream. Combat is fairly common in my dreams and I like to use my lucid dreams to try and discover how things work. So I tried to turn my assailant into sand. I said “you will turn into sand” and nothing happened. I said, “you are turning into sand” and nothing happened. I said “you turned into sand” and nothing happened. I said “you are sand” and it was as if he had always been sand. It seemed that framing things in the present tense was necessary for this effect to take place. Also note the simple independent predicate form of the sentences. This seems vital to getting this to work.

Subsequent tests also illustrated that framing things in the negative does not work. So saying “the monster will not find me” is essentially the same as saying “the monster will find me” the subconscious seems to ignore the “not”. In dreams, if you concentrate on what you do not want to happen, it is practically guaranteed to happen. Instead of saying what you do not want to happen, focus on what it is that you want to happen. For example, instead of saying “I can not fall” say “I am like a ninja.” It will make all the difference in the world.

The thing is, I’ve known this for quite some time. But I never explored it in depth until this morning. I actually found out that this isn’t just some random parlor trick, it can be used rapid fire and with reckless abandon to momentous effect. Let me give you an example “the monster is a buffalo. The buffalo is happy. The buffalo allows me to ride him. The buffalo can fly. The buffalo flies to the moon. The buffalo is asleep.” Worth pointing out is that the buffalo farted rainbows such that it was sort of like riding nyan cat to the moon, except that nyan cat was actually a buffalo. In any case, I managed to turn a nightmare into something completely awesome and wrap it up with moon explorati0n. You can also say things like “I’m on a boat” or “I know kung fu” and it will simply be as if it always was the case.

An interesting thing worth pointing out is that there is no transition from one state into another. A person does not turn into sand, the monster does not turn into a buffalo, a boat does not materialize underneath you. It is as if these things where simply always true but you just didn’t really notice. The thing is, it could be a dramatic change. The monster could have been thirty feet tall and looked like it was completely made of teeth and claws. When you say “the monster is a buffalo” it simply IS a buffalo. It doesn’t change shrink or lose it’s teeth and claws. It’s sort of like when you mistake something for something else. “Before I thought that was a dog in the hallways, but now I see that it is really just a floor fan.” It is as if you simply thought it was a thirty foot tall monster made of teeth and claws, but now that you look more closely, it’s really just a buffalo.

For this reason I have decided to coin this technique “redefinition” because that seems to be the best explanation for what is occurring. What is happening is that a dream symbol is being redefined. What you say is incorporated into that definition. This also allows us to bypass belief to produce the desired effect. That is, I do not have to believe that saying something makes it so. What it does is bypass belief altogether and redefines the thing itself. You do not have to believe the thing will change because the thing never changes, it simply is as if it had always been so.

Now, why is this so useful? First, as you’ve noticed, it allows the dreamer to change the nature of other dream characters. This is very important because dream themes rely very heavily upon the roles of the actors. For instance, if you have taken on the role of prey and a monster has taken upon the role of predator, then you’ve got yourself a chase dream. If you can redefine the monster such that they can no longer fulfill the role of predator, then you’ve successfully ended that theme. A pile of sand cannot chase you, and if it does you simply say “the sand is inert.” This is probably the easiest method I’ve found for changing the role of someone else.

There are a few last things worth pointing out. This can be very useful for visualization as well as the controlling of daydreams and hypnagogic hallucinations. So if you find that your meditation is being disturbed by irrelevant and distracting imagery, just use redefinition to take control over what you are seeing. Also, I also suggest that you never use the phrase “x is nothing” because it will produce one of two effects. The first is that “nothing” being unimaginable will produce no effect at all. The second is that it will turn into a void which will behave somewhat like a black hole and attempt to devour you. In the later case, you can still recover from it by saying “the void is x” and thereby turn it into something solid which will not try to devour you.

This is actually the problem that I face most in trying to get to sleep. Most often I’m either musing over some philosophical question or I’m imagining some conversation I have had or might have. Even when that is not the case, I am plagued by phantom sounds. Often I’ll hear thumps, thuds, whistles, music and even my name being called. My sanity aside, one could imagine that this makes it quite difficult to fall asleep. As I’ve always been plagued by this condition, I’ve developed many methods to make my mind shut up so I can sleep. As I’m sure it might also help you, I’ll lay out the most successful method I’ve found thus far.

First, You must relax your body. Start by laying yourself in a relaxing position. You should be laying on your back with none of your limbs touching each other. Do not cross your legs or arms as this will interfere with the later steps. You also want your head supported fairly well and perhaps a pillow under your knees. The idea is to lay in a position that doesn’t put any stress on any one particular part of your body. While I realize this isn’t an ideal position to sleep in, you’ll probably move into a more comfortable pose when you’re asleep anyhow so don’t worry about it.

In order to get my body to relax, I find that it helps to first let it know what tension is. Tense up all your muscles as you inhale. Then, as you exhale, relax all those muscles completely. At this point, it helps to do some breathing exercises. You’ll want to breath in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, then breath out for seven seconds. With every time you exhale, you should try to relax your muscles further as if you were trying to be a rag doll. Do this as long as you feel it’s necessary; five to ten breaths are usually enough.

Now comes the fun stuff, we can start visualization. An important thing to note here is that when I say “visualize” I don’t mean that you should just see it, you should feel it as well. Engage as many of your senses as you can in these exercises, it will make it much more effective. It is also important that you not move during any of this. Physical movement will make it more difficult to fall asleep, you should stay as still as possible. It should also go without saying that you should have your eyes closed throughout all of this.

Imagine that your body is full of liquid. This liquid represents all your tension, stress and anxiety that is stored up in your muscles. Starting with your feet, visualize this water flowing out, draining from you. Feel it running out of you. You should feel some sort of sensation, perhaps a tingling, perhaps your feet will feel heavier. Whatever this sensation may be, hold onto it and let is spread. From your feet to your calves, this stress-liquid continues to flow. You should focus on every section of your body piece by piece from your feet and working your way up. It helps that once you get to your hips, you should start with your hands and “drain” your arms completely before moving on to your torso. Your head should be last in this process.

Next, you will want to give your mind something to do that is both mindless and engaging. Some count, but I find that this is too engaging and is far from mindless. What works best for me is to simply “stare” at the green and purple blobs that seem to flit across my vision when my eyes are closed. These are the result of random nerve signals propagating either across my retina or my brain… I’m not sure which one, but they’re kind of like a lava lamp. Focus hard on these blobs. They will grow, shrink, move and change color. At first, they will not look like much but eventually they should begin to take on more complex shapes. Usually they’ll start transforming into simple geometric shapes, then faces, then common objects like cars and buildings. What you’ll want to try to do is explore this pseudo-dream-world. What you’re doing here is entering a hypnogogic state. This is something like half-asleep dreaming as you’re trying to fall asleep. Chances are, if you can enter this state, you will quickly fall asleep.

This works for me like a charm, but you may find that other techniques work better for you. The importance is the structure of these techniques, not the techniques themselves. The order you should do them in is as follows:

• Get into a relaxing position
• Slow your breathing
• Relax your body
• Relax your mind

What you’re essentially doing here is taking the relaxation techniques from meditation and the induction visualizations from self-hypnosis to quiet your conscious mind and allow you to fall asleep. There are many other techniques out there, if this doesn’t work for you, there are many other visualizations you can try.

Other examples you might try instead of staring at the blobs in your vision would be imagining you are walking down a never-ending staircase with each step putting you deeper into sleep. This works pretty well, except for when you enter the hypnogogic state. I’ve found that this most often results in the stairs collapsing and my waking with a jolt. Another is to try imagining you are sinking into your bed as if you are leaving a hole shaped like your body as your bedsheets lower you into the ground, the further you go, the further you fall asleep. You might also try imagining yourself floating out of bed and to the ceiling. From there, you can explore the house or leave it to explore the world.

Hopefully, this can be of some use to you. If it is, I would certainly like to know. Also, if you have other techniques you use to quiet your mind and fall asleep fast, feel free to let me know in the comments below. Who knows, they might prove more effective for me than what I’m already doing.

“Hello, Im a fourty year old man that has been diognosed with A.D.D.. I have been on Aderall for four years. Prior to that I was an alcoholic and drug addict. I have tried just about every med available in the last few months trying to get out of the zombie stage. I decided to stop all meds two weeks ago. I have not felt this good in a long time. I am concerned becase I feel myself not being content with what I have and I worry about the old me returning. Do you know of anything that might take the edge off and yet not make me a zombie? I am trying excercise and diet but I feel myself getting board… Thanks Cory”

I totally understand. It was a rough transition for me to kick the meds, but it was well worth it. You’re right, you feel great in comparison to all those drugs slowing you down. You are right though,it is easy to get bored and distracted without any chemicals to keep your brain on a leash. I do have a few suggestions though:

1. Coffee/Tea. I can’t drink either because the caffeine makes me pass out. However, I know plenty of people who have ADD and survive just fine on two cups of coffee a day (one at breakfast and one at lunch). You do have to watch out for the crash afterwards though, it’s just something to keep in mind.
2. Chocolate, also contains caffeine. If I find that I need to focus, I’ll often snag a piece of chocolate. The sugar and caffeine helps to get my brain moving in the right direction again.
3. Meditation. It’s boring as… well… just sitting there for long periods of time. However, the discipline garnered from training your mind to shut up and be quiet is priceless. I use both meditation and self hypnosis techniques to get myself to sleep every night. As I’m sure you know, many who suffer from ADD also find it hard to sleep because their minds just won’t stop thinking.
4. Martial arts. Working out and eating right is great, but you don’t train your mind much with just that. Keeping your brain engaged and forcing some discipline on yourself with martial arts can be extremely helpful. Even something like Tae Bow (which is just the kung fu / kick boxing workout taken from the martial art) can be extremely beneficial.
5. Stay away from additive/preservatives. There is some scientific evidence and a wealth of anecdotal evidence to support the claim that ADD is caused by these artificial chemicals in our food. Although I’m not entirely sure if I believe this, it isn’t a bad idea to at least keep in mind that these artificial additives/preservatives and colorings are probably not good for you. I’m not saying “go all natural”. But rather that you try not to eat/drink overly fake/processed food. Here’s a link to some of these findings:

   http://www.chem-tox.com/pregnancy/artificial.htm

Well, that about sums it up. I hope that was helpful. Keep in mind, I’m not a doctor and the consumption of caffeine and chocolate may be contraindicated for other conditions (such as hypertension, high blood pressure, and diabetes). Not to mention the dangers of martial arts. I’m not giving medical advice, just sharing what works for me. (heh, just covering my butt).

Type to you later,
~Nathaniel Summers

P.S. Thank you Cory, for allowing me to post this here as well. I sincerely hope that this dialog was helpful to both you and any others with similar situations who happen to stumble upon this post.

As an inviatation to my readers, if you have any comments, and especially if you have any more suggestions for managing ADD without medication, please, by all means, leave a comment below.

I just got a facebook account. I’ve been meaning to get one for the longest time. All I knew about it before signing up was: You could upload photos, and a lot of people where on it. THAT’S IT! Wow, I was a little surprised to find that it has a much as it does. I’m all ready using a few apps, slinging comments all over people’s walls, and trying to snag as many friends as I can (of course all people that I actually know/knew… for now).

Now, why the heck does this matter to anyone?

Well, I’m working on an experiment. I’ve heard that facebook is a great way to drive traffic to websites, if done properly. I’ve got little blurbs about this and my other two sites up there at the moment. I also uploaded several pieces of my artwork and posted a link to this in the gallery description saying that I’ve got more here. On top of that, the items that I sell on t-shirts, I’ve got links to their product pages.

Facebook Seems like it was
practically made for artists!

I knew facebook was popular but I had no idea. I can totally see how much potential it has for connecting people. Because of the way it works, it’s perfect for visual artists. I’ve said it once, and I’ll probably say it a thousand times: getting traffic to your site (and eyeballs on your art) is all about increasing your presence on the web. People can only view your work if they know you’re there! Facebook looks to me like a great way to get exposure. At the very least, it will keep you in touch with your friends, and your friends in touch with you… and your art. Some of my best customers (and by that I mean they buy a lot of stuff ^_^) are friends and family. Let’s face it, we could all use more friends.

Let’s recap

As an artist you can build your traffic very simply by getting a facebook account, staying in touch with friends and family, uploading samples of your artwork with links back to your website (for if they want to see more).

Question for the artistic masses:

“Do you use Facebook? Do you use it to build you traffic for your site and get eyeballs on your art? If so, how successful is it?”
I’m very interested to see how others are doing with this. I’ll keep everyone updated on my results with facebook advertising.

Hope that was helpful,
Type to you later,
~Nathaniel

I know you can’t really explode your eyeballs if you try to stop a sneeze but suppressing a sneeze is never a good idea. The fact of the matter is that a sneeze can leave your mouth and nose at speeds in excess of 200 miles per hour. Trying to stop such a force isn’t something I would advise. In fact, doing so could cause damage to your eyes, nose, and/or eardrums.

However, there is a way to stop a sneeze without causing damage. You have to stop it before it starts. It is possible to simply relax, clear your mind, and concentrate on stopping the involuntary spasm that is a sneeze, however, that’s not very reliable and its not easy to summon the will power to subdue something as powerful as a sneeze. Imagine that you’re an international super spy, you’re on a stealth mission, you’re in someone’s office trying to steal top secret plans and as you open up the drawer to the desk your nose begins to itch, then tingle and you sneeze. This alerts the guards outside who promptly rush into the room and shoot you in the face, mission over. Oops! I sneezed!

It’s actually really easy to stop a sneeze. Just one conveniently easy pressure point will do the trick. That’s right, all you have to do is take your index and middle finger and press them to the little indention that your super-orbital ridge (your eyebrow bones) make where they meet just above your nose (between and slightly above the eyebrows).

If you trace your eyebrows with your fingers you can feel the bones. You want to press right where they join up with the forehead. The bones form a shape that’s almost like a “W” that will perfectly fit two fingers. I’ve provided the illustration to help… well, illustrate this.

Now, I’ve got to lay out a few things. This pressure point will stop most sneezes. However, it won’t stop all sneezes, including:

• Those brought on by high concentrations of irritants (such as pepper up the nose).
• Those caused by extreme allergy attacks (such as sneezing fits that last several minuets).
• A sneeze that’s right about to happen.

It’s also very important that you catch the sneeze early. If you wait too long to apply the pressure point, it won’t work. Upon applying the pressure to this point, you should immediately stop feeling like you have to sneeze. If you can still feel the sneeze building up, get your fingers away from your face before you poke your eye out.

I personally use this technique all the time. Sneezes actually do serve a purpose, so I use it sparingly. I tend to use this when I’m on the phone, with a customer at work, when I’m trying to be sneaky, etc…

Give it a shot, you’ll be amazed at how well it works.

The dehydrating qualities of caffeine where somehow kept from me in my youth. My assumption was “if I’m thirsty, I should get a drink” Apparently, however, the type of drink is VERY important.

One day back in high school I guess I was a little dehydrated and feeling thirsty so I decided to get a drink. However I didn’t know that a coke would neither parch that thirst nor get me any less dehydrated. As stated before, the caffeine in coke is a dehydrant (it dehydrates you). Because of this, I got more dehydrated and thusly more thirsty. This produced a vicious cycle that I would soon regret because before I realized it, I had drank an entire 12 pack of coke in about 2 hours.

So what happens to a kid who has consumed 12 times the recommended daily intake of sugar and that much dehydrating, blood pressure increasing caffeine? Well, let me first state that I am no doctor, so I can’t really say that I blame Coke for what happened to me, the last thing I need is a law suit for defaming a huge corporation. In any case This is the sequence of events as they happened to me:

1. My increased blood pressure was obviously too much for the capillaries in my nose. They burst and I began to bleed profusely from my nose.
2. I actually lost quite a bit of blood and the fact that I’m actually very hemophobic (afraid of blood) caused me to actually pass out.
3. While unconscious, I went into convulsions. Nothing too violent, but I did claw a chunk out of my face, push all the air out of my lungs as all the muscles in my body contracted causing me to somewhat thrash around enough to give me a couple bruises.
4. Also while unconscious, I had the most amazing hallucination. I got to become the universe without time. Somehow, I was aware of everything in the universe all at once. Too bad it was really all in my head… and my brain can’t comprehend the sheer amount of data. Because knowing everything would be pretty cool.
5. Upon waking up a mere 30 seconds later (although it felt like an eternity… because… well… the no time thing) I felt like I was being electrocuted. Having been exposed to live wires many times throughout my life, I know the feeling well.
6. I had apparently gone through quite a workout because I was dripping in sweat.
7. Up until about 3 hours afterwards, my sense of equilibrium was shot. In fact, if I moved my head at all, I would feel like both myself and the whole world where spinning out of control.
8. After I dragged myself to bed, I slept for about 14-15 hours and still felt anemic the entire next day.

Now, I have to mention that I have passed out and had hallucinations simply from the sight of blood. That pesky hemophobia is to blame for that one. Still, I have NEVER experienced ANYTHING quite as traumatic from a simple nose bleed before. From then on, I have sworn off caffeine almost entirely. It really isn’t very good for you at all. It has been suggested that caffeine may cause a number of ailments from hypertension to wrinkles. Like most things, it can be good for you in small amounts. However, large amounts should certainly be avoided.

My advice to everyone is to lay off the caffeinated beverages compltely. I used to drink them because I believed I needed them to keep me awake (I’m a very sleepy person by nature). But I must admit, I have a ton more energy than I did when I was drinking caffeinated drinks all the time. On top of that, I don’t have to drink one every few hours just to keep from crashing. I was chemically dependent upon the drug known as caffeine for a long time. If I went for a day without it, I would get migraines and be so anxious and antsy that I would (out of habit) check the fridge every few hours even though I knew we where out. I’ve got to say, I’m so glad I kicked it. I sleep better, I feel more awake when I am awake, I’ve had far fewer nose bleeds, and I just feel better since kicking that coke monkey to the curb. Also, I’ve begun to notice that because I’m not addicted to my soft drink of choice, sprite, I don’t drink nearly as much soda as I used to. My teeth, my bones, my heart, my liver and my brain will thank me in the long run.

You see, my wife often complains about the odor produced by my bowel movements. In fact, the restroom is generally off limits as a biohazard zone for quite some time afterwards. I understand this is also a problem for many other men. Generally speaking all the females I’ve known are completely repelled by the odor produced by male feces. They tend to avoid it like the plague, spray all manner of odor eliminators and scents in an effort to cover it up, and make funny faces while rebuking the source of the odor.

With this in mind, I sat down to think about what I could do to help ease my wife’s olfactory discomfort. Because it is often difficult for anyone to wait several hours for the stink to clear before they can use the toilet, I decided that it might be more considerate to wait until just after my wife uses the toilet to “take the browns to the super bowl”.

Judging by both common sense and anecdotal evidence, we can all agree that people tend to relieve themselves every few hours and are thusly unlikely to need to use the toilet within a few hours of relieving themselves. By waiting until my wife has just used the toilet to “drop the kids off at the pool” I can maximize the amount of time that the air has to clear before next she must visit the restroom, thusly sparing her from as much of my foul reek as possible. I find this to be the most considerate course of actions possible. It’s also very easy to do so long as there happens to be no immediate urgency to your situation.

As an additional benefit, because a woman must always sit in order to use the toilet, using the toilet right after her ensures that the seat is nice, warm, and ready for your posterior. The only exception is when your wife is a germ-aphobe who simply “hovers.” However, baring that one exception, this situation will likely be the same across the board. I must admit, I do not miss the cold seat, and although my wife thinks I’m a bit of a jerk to specifically wait for her to “warm up the seat” for me, she does appreciate the less frequent assault on her nostrils.

Someone once said that marriage is about compromise. I think this is a perfect example of this. There are obvious benefits for both parties and very little effort is required to reap these benefits. Because of this, I’ve got a new rule for toilet etiquette: if at all possible, wait until directly after my wife has used the toilet to “take a dump”. By sparing her of my noxious fumes, I am rewarded with a freshly warmed seat. Seems fair enough to me.