Chimeric Fire

Why does God Spam Me???

June 5th, 2008 by Nathaniel

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…or rather, why am I getting religious-themed spam? Some one, or ones, are spreading blessings around the internet in the form of spam… and then (of course) linking to their crazy, random, and inappropriate websites.

I’m fairly used to all the Viagra and Porn spam that comes through. That stuff is like the bread and butter of a spam sandwich. But here recently I’ve been getting some really strange religious spam. The funny thing is, they don’t even link to religiously appropriate websites. In fact, I actually found the links to be VERY ironic.

God + Spam = Woman Riding Cigar????

Here are some examples, followed by my commentary:

With a link to an antique shop:
“These prayers help me to keep God in my life, especially with the many distractions I encounter.”
(Yes all those things are… ooh wait an antique shop!!!)

With a link to some cigar website:
I praise God for answering my prayers. God, you are so wonderful, majestic. Jesus Christ, I adore Your Sacred Heart.”
(What the heck kind of cigars are these?) @.@

With a link selling Cialis (an ED Drug):
“This website is very nice and colorful too. Its nice to have something to show others where you attend church and to show all the smiling people filled of the goodness of the Lord. You have a wonderful website here. May God rich bless you always.”
(You want to go where? and show off your what?? and fill them with WHAT???)

With a link pertaining to cyber sex:
“I have always wanted a compendium of novena prayers. Thank you for sharing all these prayers with us. It brings joy and happiness to everyone. I know, I do feel that way.e”
(You spent how many days on your knees… praying for what?)
***The definition of a Novena might clarify the irony.

And there are more, but I think you get the point.

Now, I know that as a rule, we as bloggers are supposed to ignore spam altogether. Just delete it and move on. However, I found these particular examples of spam to be particularly humorous and as such decided to share. Thank you, you crazy spam bot, you really made my day. For once, I’m glad I got some spam. Normally sorting through and deleting my spam is an annoying task. This time, I enjoyed it immensely.

God Bless Spam.
Spam Bless You.

Type to you later,
~Nathaniel


4 Comments

  1. Darren Daz Cox:

    oooh I’m not considered a spam bot any more!

  2. Darren Daz Cox:

    this is pretty hilarious!

    yesterday, while waiting for an email i checked my spam pile and found that there were 4 spams dated 2038, a dozen dated 2 days from the actual date as well as ones from the correct date.

    This makes me realize that they can change the date of when it looks like you received the email so it remains at the front of the pile. Pretty ingenious and pathetic at the same time!

  3. Nathaniel:

    Why yes, you’re not a spambot. I think one of my spam stopper plugins was being a little overzealous. I’m getting a lot more spam with it disabled… but it’s worth it if the alternative is no comments at all.

    That’s pretty wild, I suppose you could do anything with a computer if you set your mind to it… too bad these spammers aren’t trying to end world hunger or something.

    Here’s a new one:
    With a link to a military rifle surplus store:
    “I thank the Lord for giving us the gift of brilliant preachers!p”
    Praise the Lord, and Pass the Ammunition!
    Let’s kill ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out!
    You can learn the good book the easy way… or the hard way.

  4. Sharon:

    Ha-ha! Best laugh ever….

    Cigar blessed by the pope perhaps? Guaranteed to give you a long healthy life?

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