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Caffeine is a wonderful thing right? I know plenty of people who can’t even start their day without a cup of coffee or a nice cold coke. That caffeine rush sure is invigorating isn’t it? Heck, once you’re hooked on the caffeine, water just doesn’t compare to a cold bubbly soda. But have you ever thought about what happens to your body after drinking a Coke? This Article lays it out in detail and it’s some narly stuff. To summarize, you consume 100% of the daily recommended intake of sugar (in one serving), your blood sugar spikes, your pupils dilate, your blood pressure rises, and it increases dopamine production (not unlike the effects of heroine that make it so addictive), it severely dehydrates you and depletes you of vital nutrients.

The dehydrating qualities of caffeine where somehow kept from me in my youth. My assumption was “if I’m thirsty, I should get a drink” Apparently, however, the type of drink is VERY important.

One day back in high school I guess I was a little dehydrated and feeling thirsty so I decided to get a drink. However I didn’t know that a coke would neither parch that thirst nor get me any less dehydrated. As stated before, the caffeine in coke is a dehydrant (it dehydrates you). Because of this, I got more dehydrated and thusly more thirsty. This produced a vicious cycle that I would soon regret because before I realized it, I had drank an entire 12 pack of coke in about 2 hours.

So what happens to a kid who has consumed 12 times the recommended daily intake of sugar and that much dehydrating, blood pressure increasing caffeine? Well, let me first state that I am no doctor, so I can’t really say that I blame Coke for what happened to me, the last thing I need is a law suit for defaming a huge corporation. In any case This is the sequence of events as they happened to me:

1. My increased blood pressure was obviously too much for the capillaries in my nose. They burst and I began to bleed profusely from my nose.
2. I actually lost quite a bit of blood and the fact that I’m actually very hemophobic (afraid of blood) caused me to actually pass out.
3. While unconscious, I went into convulsions. Nothing too violent, but I did claw a chunk out of my face, push all the air out of my lungs as all the muscles in my body contracted causing me to somewhat thrash around enough to give me a couple bruises.
4. Also while unconscious, I had the most amazing hallucination. I got to become the universe without time. Somehow, I was aware of everything in the universe all at once. Too bad it was really all in my head… and my brain can’t comprehend the sheer amount of data. Because knowing everything would be pretty cool.
5. Upon waking up a mere 30 seconds later (although it felt like an eternity… because… well… the no time thing) I felt like I was being electrocuted. Having been exposed to live wires many times throughout my life, I know the feeling well.
6. I had apparently gone through quite a workout because I was dripping in sweat.
7. Up until about 3 hours afterwards, my sense of equilibrium was shot. In fact, if I moved my head at all, I would feel like both myself and the whole world where spinning out of control.
8. After I dragged myself to bed, I slept for about 14-15 hours and still felt anemic the entire next day.

Now, I have to mention that I have passed out and had hallucinations simply from the sight of blood. That pesky hemophobia is to blame for that one. Still, I have NEVER experienced ANYTHING quite as traumatic from a simple nose bleed before. From then on, I have sworn off caffeine almost entirely. It really isn’t very good for you at all. It has been suggested that caffeine may cause a number of ailments from hypertension to wrinkles. Like most things, it can be good for you in small amounts. However, large amounts should certainly be avoided.

My advice to everyone is to lay off the caffeinated beverages compltely. I used to drink them because I believed I needed them to keep me awake (I’m a very sleepy person by nature). But I must admit, I have a ton more energy than I did when I was drinking caffeinated drinks all the time. On top of that, I don’t have to drink one every few hours just to keep from crashing. I was chemically dependent upon the drug known as caffeine for a long time. If I went for a day without it, I would get migraines and be so anxious and antsy that I would (out of habit) check the fridge every few hours even though I knew we where out. I’ve got to say, I’m so glad I kicked it. I sleep better, I feel more awake when I am awake, I’ve had far fewer nose bleeds, and I just feel better since kicking that coke monkey to the curb. Also, I’ve begun to notice that because I’m not addicted to my soft drink of choice, sprite, I don’t drink nearly as much soda as I used to. My teeth, my bones, my heart, my liver and my brain will thank me in the long run.